Down Under

Every morning someone comes along and tosses a shrink-wrapped log of a newspaper onto our front steps. I am often up before it arrives, but I have yet to see our delivery person. On Saturday, we receive two logs. The second includes the weekend magazines. I always weed out the sports, real estate and car sections before I bring the rest into the kitchen.

The plastic wrapping machine is very cunning, often taxing my ability to find the edge. Sometimes I give up, resorting to a sharp knife to fillet the newsprint. If I set aside some of the paper for later, I may find that it has disappeared during the day. My wife seems to mistake my lack of instant attention for a total lack of interest.

I was a freshman in college before I realized that my vocabulary needed improvement. I decided to look up every single word…

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